What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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