the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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