Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
