if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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