mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
