Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she looked like the before picture.
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I love you. Go after that dick
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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