I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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