I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
