Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
