I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
