that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
