first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
