Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
