Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
