im holly from the hills drunk
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
