But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
