yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My ATM looks so different sober.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
