Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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