it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
