Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
