If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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