Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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