I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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