Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize