'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
