She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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