yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize