last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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