I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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