That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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