He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
