He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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