its not stalking. its research.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
