But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
