I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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