just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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