She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
