Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
