Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize