Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
