Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
