no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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