Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
