Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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