It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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