i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
