so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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