I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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