so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
