I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
