Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
