dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize