Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
