Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I will pee on everything he values.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
