So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize