Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
