I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
