Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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