so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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