we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize