Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
