You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
