my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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