I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
