ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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