okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
