i barfeds in our rink
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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