we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
