franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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