it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
