My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
