someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
