he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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