covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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