i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
