what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
