Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
