careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
